Tom's plea for help!

My good friend, Tom, has a maid that has been with his family for almost a decade. Tom and his siblings have grown up in a family whereby face-to-face communication amongst members of the family can be considered a rare sight. On top of that, both his parents are usually not at home due to work commitments. Hence, the maid has become a central element in the communication-web of his family; somewhat like a messenger that critically links members of the family with one another.

Not too long ago, Tom’s father faced a lot of problems at work, and that strained the relationship between his parents. His dad began to stay out much later than before, and turned to drinking as a form of escape. As much as Tom wanted to help his father, he did not know how to go about doing it. In addition, he was too involved with the extra-curricular activities in school. Thus, this situation went on for a few months.

One night, Tom noticed that his maid was very upset. Hence, he tried to find out what had happened from the maid. He was told that his dad got touchy with the maid on various occasions , and this usually took place in the kitchen at night after his dad got home from work (usually when Tom and his siblings were too preoccupied with their computer games). In fact, Tom had also witness this numerous times. However, he was unsure of what action he to take. He felt extremely tormented by this interpersonal conflict, because whatever action that he might have to take would hurt the people dearest to him in one way or another.

Some of the serious issues faced by Tom are summarised as follows:

1) If he should confront his dad with regards to what had happened to the maid, and how he should go about doing that.
2) The seemingly important task of filling his mother in on what has happened between her husband and the maid.
3) The way to go about protecting the interests of the maid, someone whom he already regards as family.

If you were in Tom’s shoes, how would you resolve this interpersonal conflict?

the beginning...

"No man is an island." - John Donne (1572-1631)

In today's society, globalisation has become a reality; something which would be deemed impossible decades ago. One of the key factors that actually made this possible is the advancement in technology. In this post, I would focus on the detrimental effects of technology in communication. However, I would briefly touch on why effective communication is a vital skill (as a budding chemist) first.

I am currently a undergraduate in NUS who is doing my honours in Chemistry, and I spend most of my time doing experiments in the laboratory. Contrary to common belief, a chemist does not only have to be good in his/her laboratory performance, but it is also mandatory to be able to put ideas across. Would you consider a scientist who is an excellent performer in the lab, but is unable to communicate his results across to the community successful? Highly unlikely... Thus, I am now doing this course, in an attempt to hone my communication skills.

Technology in the twenty-first century has advanced beyond recognition; two individuals living thousands of miles apart from each other can be linked in a few clicks of the mouse. Days of using the morse code, and having to correspond with one another via snail-mail are over, and would probably be buried together with history over time. Yes, those methods of communication that were once so effective are now considered old-fashion and obselete! However, is that necessarily a good thing?

Contrary to common belief, I choose to believe: the adverse effects pegged to communication brought about by the advancement oftechnology greatly outweighs that of the advantages. I would attempt to illustrate my point via numerous examples in my daily life.

1) As we have previously discussed, the various forms of communication have evolved; besides the usage of hardcopies to ensure that the delivery of information appears formal and official, other channels of communications assumed importance and formality in many of the societies today. Brad mentioned that most if not all of the announcements in his department are done through email, and I believe that Brad's office is not the exception here. One may ask, "how would this have a detrimental effect on our communication skills?" With cyber-forms of communication being so prevalent in Singapore, it actually affects our communication with one another, both at home (yes, my cousins often communicate with their siblings at home via msn, and so do I!), and at work (my colleagues who are sitting next to one another are sometimes talking through msn).

2) Linked to the above point, communicating more behind the computer for long hours weakens our ability to express ourselves in real life. I am making this statement with specific reference to myself. Something which many people do not know about me is that I actually stammer. Though I have never seen a speech therapist with regards to my difficulty, but I would attribute this problem to my lifestyle. One that is spent a lot in the cyber-world, which really weakens my ability to interact with others in person. I know that this is a psychological barrier, and am trying to overcome it. Help anyone? :)

3) I do not think that coming across an individual with a low EQ is a rare occurence. However, I think that we should stop and think about this issue, before we point fingers and start gossiping about how terrible and hopeless that individual is. Just like how we often sympathize with the disabled, we should also give those people that step on our toes a chance (in this case, the problem with a low EQ), before we actually condemn them. I would think that one of the reasons for this is the lack of communication with others in person. After all, we are the rulers behind the screens, aren't we?